Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
