I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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