While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
