Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize