Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
