if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I need a beard to bite.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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