Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
