was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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