meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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