He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
