I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
