yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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