Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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