Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
