Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
