Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
