How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
