we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
my poor anus
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
