Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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