Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
how drunk are you?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience