Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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