Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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