Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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