I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
