you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
