dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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