took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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