They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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