So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.