you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
