Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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