Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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