I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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