I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
