So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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