i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
