before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We need a shit load of segways right now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
