Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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