This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
