Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
