I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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