I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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