I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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