i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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