She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
