I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
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Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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