sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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