My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
