So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
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When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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