Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
