Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
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