Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
