i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
