My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
What drink are we having for lunch?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
