I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
