You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
