Dude my mom stole all your condoms
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
