No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
