i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
