if you like me you must not know who I am
Do vagina's smell?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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