It's Friday. Sex?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
