I hate all girls vehemently.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
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Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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