i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
