It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
