Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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