just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize