i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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