i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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